Monday, August 13, 2012

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

1st baby:
You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your doctor confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby:
You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby:
Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

_____________________________________________________
Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby:
You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby:
You don't bother because you remember that last time breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby
: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.


________________________________________________
The Layette
:

1st baby:
You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby:
You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby:
Boys can wear pink, can't they?
______________________________________________________

Worries:

1st baby:
At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby:
You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby:
You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

______________________________________________________
Dummy:

1st baby:
If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby:
When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle..
3rd baby:
You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

______________________________________________________
Nappies:

1st baby:
You change your baby's nappy every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby:
You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby:
You try to change their nappy before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
____________________

Activities:

1st baby:
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby:
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby:
You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

______________________________________________________
Going Out:

1st baby:
The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby:
Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached...
3rd baby:
You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

______________________________________________________
At Home:

1st baby
: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby:
You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby:
You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

______________________________________________________
Swallowing Coins:

1st child:
When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child:
When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child:
When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his pocket money.

No comments:

Post a Comment