Boss, your parrot died

Hello, Boss Rod? This is Philemon, the gardener at your country estate.**
I have been trying for to speak with Boss now many days"

"Ah yes, Philemon. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

 "Um, I am just calling to advise you, Mista Rod, that your parrot died.

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the National competition?"

"eYebo Boss, that's is the one."

"Dam! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird." "What did he
die from?"

 "From eating rotten meat, Mista Rod"

"Rotten meat? Who in this world fed him rotten meat?"

 "eNobody, Boss. He ate the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Mista Rod."

 "My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

 "eYes Boss Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Boss"

 "Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

 "The one at your house, Boss! A candle fell and the curtains caught on
fire."

 "What the!!??....Are you saying that my house is destroyed because of a
 candle??!! "

 eYes Boss Rod."

 "But there's electricity at the house!!! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Mista Rod."

 "WHAT BLOODYFUNERAL?"

"Of your madam wife, Boss Rod... She showed up one night when telling
nobody she was coming and I thought she was a robber, so I hit her with Boss's
new Tiger Woods Limited Edition Nike Driver."

SILENCE................... ,

 LONG
 SILENCE...................................................
 ........................................................... .................,

 FINALLY .............................................................................................................................................................................,

"Philemon, if you broke that driver, you are in deep, deep sh*t!" *