A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going
by. He gets into the taxi, and the Cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're
just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything
right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen
like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over
everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete.
He could have played cricket for England. He could golf with the pros. He sang
like an opera baritone and danced like a West End star and you should have
heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really
special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer.
He remembered everybody's birthday, he knew all about wine and which foods to
order. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole
street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in
traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in
them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a
woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in
the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too.
He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up
to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet
him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died. But
I'm married to his fuckin' widow."
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